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Women's
Resource Center |
Women's Health: Dating
Violence
Is Someone In Your Family Being Abused?
Does this sound familiar?
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Does she come home with injuries and then
cannot explain them?
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Do you see signs that she is afraid of her
partner?
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Does her partner check up on her?
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Does her partner lash out, call names or
talk mean to or about her?
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Does she seem to be giving up things that
were once important to her?
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Has she lost interest in school, friends,
time with family, activities?
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Does she apologize for the partner's behavior
to you and others?
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Have you seen her partner be abusive toward
other people or things?
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Has her appearance or behavior changed?
If so...
Most
important... when you talk to her, BELIEVE
THE VICTIM! Let her know that you are there
to support her, without judgement.
DO:
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Ask questions about her relationships that
will help her recognize what has happened to her and to
identify it as abuse.
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Support her courage in asking for help,
while respecting her limits.
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Maintain open and respectful communication
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Tell your loved one that you are worried
and want to help
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Abusive partners often try to destroy the
victim's self-confidence, so point out her good qualities!
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Plan for safety
with her
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Make use of community resources--counseling,
school and the legal system
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Call your local domestic violence agency
DO NOT:
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Assume she wants to end the relationship
or that you know what is best for her. This will make her
afraid of disappointing you. This kind of intimidation
will only reinforce her role as a victim.
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Ask her what she did to provoke him. This
will only reinforce feelings of self-blame and prevent
her from expecting her partner to take responsibility.
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Talk to her and the abuser together. This
will make her more fearful of opening up. Don't talk to
the abuser at all without her permission.
Sources:
Three Rivers Free-Net Women's Center and Shelter
of Greater Pittsburgh
Univerisity of Connecticut Women's Center
Back to Women's
Safety: Dating Violence
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